Last night I was sitting in bed watching the Academy Awards with my wife when Barbara Streisand floated onstage to present the Oscar for best original song.
After a few melodramatic remarks, the esteemed Ms. Streisand proceeded to read the list of nominees. In case you missed it, the nominees were:
“Burn it Blue,” from the movie Frida.
“Father and Daughter,” from the movie The Wild Thornberry’s Movie.
“The Hands That Built America,” from the movie Gangs of New York.
“I Move On,” from the movie Chicago.
And finally, “Lose Yourself,” from Eminem’s movie 8 Mile.
As soon as Babs announced that last one, I turned to my wife and said, “There’s no way on God’s green earth the traditionalists behind the Academy [of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences] are gonna hand an Oscar to Eminem! It’s gonna be that sweet father and daughter song by Paul Simon.”
Then the former Funny Girl opened the thick, white envelope and proved once again that I’m no prophet. Of course, one glance at my NCAA basketball brackets will tell you that much.
When she spit out Eminem’s name, it sounded to me like Babs said something like “N and M” or “Om and Im” or, possibly, “Oy not that boy”. In fact, I half expected her to follow the announcement with: “Just kidding, folks. Paul Simon, get your fat, balding, Garfunkel-less butt up here!”
After I took a few jabs from my very amused wife, I gave the surprising outcome some thought. The first notion that came to mind was: What the heck is going on here?
I mean, Germany takes a stand with France against starting a war, and now Eminem wins an Oscar? Has the world gotten a little out of whack? And just what is a “whack,” anyway?
Or maybe I had fallen asleep, and Eminem’s win had all been an unusual dream. After all, I had eaten spicy food for dinner.
“And the Oscar for best original screenplay goes to Pedro Almodóvar!”
Nope, I guess not.
So I thought about it some more, and finally it hit me like one of the F-bombs that Eminem tosses out rather recklessly in his lyrics. An Oscar for the Detroit rapper makes absolutely perfect sense.
According to our nation’s leaders, we are currently fighting a war in Iraq in order to stave off a serious threat to our liberty, our freedom, our way of life. The freedoms guaranteed to us by the Constitution -- freedom of speech, freedom of expression, the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness -- are the things that make this country so great.
What better recent symbol of this than Eminem’s Oscar win? Heck, this guy is all about “freedom of expression.” The fact that a conservative, traditional body such as the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences chose to look past their biases and recognize a nontraditional, iconoclastic artist who spills rhymes from his mouth with the pace of a highly-caffeinated auctioneer should make all Americans proud.
Of course Eminem should win the Oscar for best original song. It makes complete sense.
Even if it does cost Paul Simon the remainder of his hair.
Copyright 2003 Marc L. Prey
All rights reserved.
Derived from the comical life of the author -- a fairly typical husband and father who just happens to be a humor columnist.
